How I am doing now I am cancer free.
It was my one year check-up for my operation for cancer last Thursday. Everything went really well. In the back of my mind I became anxious about cancer returning and I guess that is not going to go away any time soon.
One thing I thought would happen almost immediately was taking my health more seriously. It is only these past few months how important I view my health now. You would have thought that having several existing auto-immune conditions would make you take it more seriously but I guess I took it for granted in a way. You assume cancer happens to other people and when it happens to you boy does it change how you view your own life.
I’m back in the gym working out consistently and getting my strength back up to where it was pre-covid and pre-cancer. I’ve slowly changed some habits but not all. It’s still a work in progress and I do remind myself weekly that the biggest wealth really is health.
Three months after the operation and the menopause kicked in. Hot flashes, emotional outbursts, crying daily mixed with daily anxiety and not wanting to get out of bed was hard. I coped by talking to others who were going through the menopause.
In March I took a short break abroad to Spain to take time out for myself, indulge a little and work out what is important to me.
In the weeks coming up to my check up the worry of cancer returning was at the forefront of my mind and that I need to take my health very seriously. I definitely do not want cancer to return to my body. I was very lucky to have had my cancer diagnosed very early had an operation and then pronounced cancer free within 3 months. That is a huge blessing and one of the strangest and loneliest times of my life. A huge blessing for the NHS dealing with my cancer so quickly whilst the pandemic still continued. The longest three months I think I have ever been through. Time slowed down so much it felt like a prison sentence. Lying in bed for six weeks after my operation was not easy. I mean I am a night owl and I love my bed but I did not during that time. I wanted to live and get up and dance, run, swim. Crazy how when you are forced to do something your body and mind want the complete opposite.
For now the present really truly is a gift. I’m still sifting through my values and what I want out of my life. I get sad that this happened but I feel it has given me a greater understanding of myself. I don’t currently know where the journey is taking me I’m just happy to be here to tell my story.
